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Uh... No pain, no gain?

 

What was that?

 

Uncle Lex,
you're spooking me out.

 

There.

 

Madam...

 

Thank you very much.

 

Oui, Monsieur.
Au revoir.

 

Au revoir.

 

I'm incredible.

 

Uncle Lex, he's like...

 

He's beautiful.
He's perfect.

 

Welcome home, nuclear man.

 

Your father's
happy to see you.

 

The sun has given him
internally generated heat.

 

I'm, uh...

 

You are...

 

I'm... What?
I'm a genius?

 

I'm incredible!
I'm...

 

You are nothing!

 

I am the father now.

 

You have my voice.

 

No, you have my voice.

 

Just remember, I made you.

 

You're just
an experiment, freako.

 

What's that?

 

Oh, no.

 

I'm an experiment?

 

I'm freako?

 

I was just kidding!

 

If anyone's freako here,
it's got to be me!

 

Oh, wow!

 

Oh, wow!
I'm break dancing! Hey!

 

This rocks!
hey! Oh! Whoa...

 

I made you.
I can destroy you.

 

Destroy.

 

Destroy Superman now.

 

You sweet thing!
But not quite yet.

 

Come here.

 

We'll discuss
when the proper time is.

 

Uncle Lex.

 

Oh, no!

 

He's, like...
he's, like, cold.

 

Of course he is.

 

That's his vulnerability.

 

That's the only way
he can be stopped.

 

What?

 

Lenny, my loud-mouth nephew,

 

He gets his energy
from the sun.

 

Without it, he's
like you at night...

 

Useless.

 

Nobody's perfect.

 

You know, I never had
a double date before.

 

This is fun. How do I look?

 

Illegal...

 

Like the last six
dresses you tried on.

 

Uh, listen, Lacy,

 

I don't want
to burst your bubble,

 

but Clark won't notice
what you're wearing.

 

Yes, he will.

 

Oh, there's Clark.

 

You look great.

 

Oh, maybe it's just Superman.

 

No.

 

No, Superman makes
a different kind of entrance.

 

Hi, Lacy.

 

Hi, Clark.

 

Could you break a 20?

 

Driver didn't have any change.

 

Yeah, sure.
Let me get my purse.

 

Hi, Lois.

 

Hi, Clark.

 

You won't believe
these questions

 

Mr. Warfield gave me
to ask Superman.

 

"Are you part of a plot to
weaken our national defense?"

 

It's his gray matter
that's weakened.

 

How can I ask Superman
these questions?

 

Uh, well, politely, I guess.

 

Let's see, I have $18 and...

 

Clark, she really likes you,

 

so notice the dress.

 

My American Express card.

 

Dress.

 

Oh, hey! Neat dress!

 

Thanks. Be right back.

 

Hey, what's that?

 

Now, there's a different
kind of entrance.

 

Hi, Lois.

 

Hello, Superman.

 

How are you?

 

I'm fine.

 

Oh! Um, Superman,
meet Lacy Warfield.

 

She's the boss' daughter.

 

How do you do?

 

That's a very
attractive outfit.

 

I think we better
start our interview.

 

Two's company.

 

Oh, right! Yeah!
I'll go get Clark.

 

He's probably helping
the cab driver change a flat

 

or some other good deed.

 

Something smells wonderful.

 

Oh, thank you.

 

I'm cooking some
scallops and duck

 

in this wonderful
mushroom sauce with champagne,

 

in case we got hungry
afterwards.

 

Uh... I mean, later.

 

You shouldn't have gone
to all that trouble.

 

Should we get on
with the interview?

 

Yes, let's get on with it.

 

Have... Have you had
any trouble

 

Confiscating the missiles?

 

There always was
the possibility

 

that some warped individuals

 

would take advantage

 

of the world's good will, but-

 

Is there something wrong?

 

Oh, my dinner!

 

Um, I'll be right back!

 

Hi.

 

I missed you, Clark.

 

It's so boring up there
with Lois and Superman.

 

Let's go do something wild.

 

That wouldn't be polite.

 

Yeah, you're right.

 

How can one man be so square

 

and so delicious?

 

All right. Let's go.

 

If I have to face Superman,

 

so do you.

 

Uh... Lacy.

 

Oh, Clark.

 

Uh... Uh... Stop.

 

I don't believe it!

 

I've never had a duck
turn out so perfectly!

 

I'm out here, Lois.

 

Oh.

 

Isn't it beautiful?

 

The city's beautiful.

 

The whole world is beautiful.

 

I've always felt moments
like this should be shared

 

with someone you
care a lot about.

 

Isn't that the doorbell?

 

Yes.

 

Lacy.

 

Where's Clark?

 

Well, the elevator-

 

Never mind.
It's a long story.

 

It always is with Clark.

 

Oh, great, that's him!

 

Clark?

 

Hi. Those bellboys should
look where they're going.

 

Superman?

 

Superman?

 

Is dinner ready?
Can we eat?

 

Yeah. Let's go sit down.

 

Oh, great.

 

Ohhh! Sorry!
Oh, dear.

 

Oh, no, that's OK.

 

Just leave it there, Clark.

 

Let me just get a rag.

 

Be right back.

 

Where's Clark?

 

Don't be concerned, blue boy.

 

Only you can hear me.

 

It's my own private frequency.

 

You might call this Lex TV.

 

Look to your left,
tall, dark, and handsome.

 

I'll blow 20 stories
off that building...

 

Give or take
a floor or two. Peace.

 

Men.

 

I hope Clark's OK.
I better look.

 

OK.

 

I'm sorry.

 

An emergency's come up.

 

My apologies to Miss Warfield.

 

Oh, but-

 

Superman!

 

Take me with you!

 

I could cover the story!

 

Have you seen Clark?

 

Guess who.

 

It's your old friend Lex.

 

If you'd planted a bomb,

 

you'd be miles from here by now.

 

This is my nephew Lenny.

 

He worships me.

 

The dude of steel.

 

Boy, are you gonna get it!

 

Silly me, thinking
I could fool the super guy.

 

You're right. No bomb.

 

It's just
that you're so involved

 

in this world peace bit,

 

you don't have time
for social calls.

 

I confess.

 

I tricked you.

 

You look great.

 

Enough small talk.
what are you up to?

 

You know, you're a workaholic.

 

You're playing a good guy
24 hours a day.

 

Why don't you stop
and smell the roses?

 

Get yourself a pet-
a kitten, a puppy.

 

You hate children and animals.

 

Why are you in Metropolis?

 

I want to introduce you
to the new kid on the block.

 

Look closely at
the cell structure.

 

You see anything familiar?

 

You've already broken
all the laws of man.

 

Now you've broken
the laws of nature, too.

 

You must have hidden a device

 

on a missile
I hurled into the sun.

 

You know, Mr. Muscle,
I'll miss our chats.

 

You're the only one
that could keep up with me.

 

Lenny!

 

What?

 

I want to propose a toast.

 

To a nice guy...

 

who's about to finish last.

 

Destroy Superman!

 

Later.

 

He's a little bit anxious.

 

Can you blame him?

 

Not one of
your great thinkers.

 

But I, in all modesty, am.

 

The touching thing
about this plan

 

Is you helped me devise it.

 

Prison twisted your mind
into a delusionary state.

 

No, no, no. Listen.

 

I escaped from prison
with one thing on my mind-

 

the end of Superman.

 

So there I was,
the first time ever

 

that I didn't have a long-range,

 

truly devious criminal scheme.

 

And then I came up with it.

 

With this guy

 

and you gone,

 

I'll make a fortune
rearming the world.

 

You'd risk nuclear war
for your financial gain?

 

Nobody wants war.

 

I just want to keep
the threat alive.

 

Nifty, huh?

 

Good night, sweet prince.

 

Parting is...

 

Inevitable.

 

Destroy Superman!

 

First, I have fun.

 

Help me!

 

Thank you, Superman.

 

Santa Maria...

 

Un gran miracolo.
Grazie.

 

I said I'd get you

 

to run one
of our papers yourself,

 

and I meant it.

 

Congratulations, Miss publisher.

 

Thank you, daddy.
That's very nice.

 

Step into your office.

 

Where'd this come from?

 

Oh, somebody brought it in.

 

We bought it cheap.

 

OK. This time you have
both gone too far.

 

You can print your rag
without Lois Lane.

 

And you certainly have
no right to this.

 

Lois, I'm sorry.

 

Oh, let her go, darling.

 

I mean, she's useless.

 

And while you're at it,
fire that Clark Kent.

 

He hasn't been around
or even telephoned.

 

I know. I'm worried.

 

Oh, kitten,

 

Didn't we have our little talk

 

about personal involvement

 

with the help?

 

Now that you're the publisher-

 

Daddy...

 

Yes, darling?

 

Stuff it!

 

Lois?
Lois, I'm sorry.

 

I promise you I had
nothing to do with that.

 

Have you heard from Clark?

 

No.

 

Just a minute.

 

Oh, Lois. What are
you doing here?

 

I knew it.

 

Oh, I've just,

 

Uh... Just got
a really bad flu.

 

What do you mean you knew it?

 

How'd you know?

 

You haven't been to work.

 

You haven't called
the office.

 

You haven't even called me back.

 

How could you not
call me back?

 

Whatever it is,

 

I guess you've
got your reasons,

 

but I knew you
were here, you know?

 

Somehow...

 

Somehow something
pulled me here.

 

I always know when
Superman's in trouble.

 

Superman?
Something's happened to him?

 

Everybody's saying
he's dead, but...

 

It can't be true.
I just know it.

 

I feel it in my heart.

 

I think he just needs help.

 

Well, wherever he is, Lois,
I'm sure he'll manage.

 

Well, if he can't...

 

manage...

 

And he really is...
in trouble,

 

then there's, uh...

 

there's a few things
I'd like to tell him.

 

I'd tell him...

 

that I will always
cherish the time

 

we spent together,

 

and I never expected
anything in return

 

and no matter how few
minutes I saw him for,

 

it always made me happy.

 

And I would tell him...
that I love him,

 

and that
I'll always love him,

 

and that... whatever...

 

happens to the world, I...

 

I know that...

 

that he's doing his best
to make sure

 

that it'll be all right
for the rest of us.

 

Well, wherever he is, Lois,

 

I know that...

 

he would want to thank you.

 

Listen, I'm, um...

 

I'm pretty tired, you know,

 

so I think I'll just rest here

 

for a while, OK?

 

I'll be fine. It's OK.

 

Please?

 

Well, I hope you
feel better, Clark.

 

Thanks.

 

If... If you do see him,

 

um... or-or-or hear from him,

 

he might need this.

 

Oh, Lex,
we're all very pleased

 

at all the nuclear missiles
and arms you've helped us sell,

 

and, uh, we've decided
to increase your commission.

 

Oh, guys, really, that's great.

 

It's the least we could do.

 

Well, I have another idea.

 

Gentlemen, I've decided

 

to assume control
of the company.

 

My first official act
is to say, "You're fired!"

 

You're mad.

 

Oh, really? Look at this.

 

If you want
a reference for work,

 

forget it!

 

That was a good bit.

 

You know, with my brains

 

And your...
frankly, your brawn,

 

the possibilities
are absolutely staggering.

 

I could be president,
emperor, king.

 

Did you see how scared
those guys were?

 

And what do you fear?

 

What? Now?

 

With Superman dead,
and you're on my team?

 

It's like I'm the coach,

 

and you're the best
power forward ever.

 

What's to fear?

 

All that remains
of krypton's energy

 

is yours.

 

After it is gone,

 

you will belong solely
to your new home.

 

If our dying planet
can save your life, my son,

 

we have not died in vain.

 

Where is the woman?

 

You'll never find her.

 

If you will not tell me,
I will hurt people.

 

Stop! Don't do it!
The people!

 

Easy, now, easy.

 

Slow, slow, slow.

 

Stop! That's enough!

 

That's enough.

 

You win.
I'll take you to her.

 

Where is she?

 

Far away from here and safe.

 

Don't go in there.
She's not in there.

 

We've got to tone down
these headlines.

 

Tone down our headlines?

 

Lacy, that's all
the common man reads.

 

We could do with
less sensationalism.

 

Less sensational papers
go broke.

 

I taught you long ago

 

that the business of
newspapers is business.

 

No, daddy.

 

Our business is journalism.

 

We can't be so irresponsible.

 

Otherwise,

 

we'll lead everyone
into a disaster.

 

Don't be overdramatic.

 

What kind of disaster

 

could we possibly bring about?

 

Lacy!

 

What's going on?

 

Are you sure you know

 

What you're doing, Mr. White?

 

Well...

 

Here comes Mr. Warfield.

 

You'd better have
an explanation, white,

 

or you'll talk
to your lawyers from jail.

 

You know, I'm not a tycoon.

 

I'm just an old reporter,

 

but I've read enough
in my own newspaper

 

about hostile takeovers
of big companies,

 

And you, Mr. Warfield,

 

must have been
asleep at the wheel,

 

because I convinced
the bankers of this city

 

that our Daily Planet
should be treated

 

like a natural resource,
protected from predators,

 

so I convinced them
to lend me the money.

 

I bought up
the outstanding shares,

 

and you, Mr. Warfield, are
now a minority shareholder.

 

Everyone back to work.

 

Way to go, chief!

 

I'm sorry.

 

You win some, you lose some.

 

Now, this is what
I call a newspaper.

 

Compliments of
the Daily Planet.

 

Have a nice day!

 

We did it!
We're back!

 

Hi, everybody.
am I late?

 

Hey, Mr. Kent.
No, he's not here yet.

 

It must have been
an effort for you

 

to drag yourself
out of bed this morning.

 

I'm feeling better.

 

Had a visit from
a good nurse.

 

It must have been some
pretty good medicine,

 

because Miss Lane said
you were really ill.

 

Jimmy, sometimes all you need

 

is some loving attention

 

from the right person.

 

Glad you're back, Clark...

 

and remember...

 

I am covering
Superman's press conference.

 

You just tape crowd reactions.

 

Reactions, OK.

 

Oh, dear.

 

Guess I'll need
a tape recorder.

 

Be right back.

 

Clark.

 

Same old Mr. Kent.
He'll never change.

 

I hope not.

 

Hi, Superman.

 

Lois, good to see you again.

 

Good to see you, too.

 

Morning, gentlemen.

 

Excuse me.

 

Thank you.

 

We've survived
the threat of war

 

and found a fragile peace.

 

I thought I could give
you freedom from war.

 

I was wrong.
It's not mine to give.

 

We're still a young planet.

 

There are galaxies out there,

 

other civilizations
for us to meet,

 

to learn from.

 

What a brilliant future
we could have.

 

And there will be peace

 

when the world's people
want it so badly

 

that their governments will
have to give it to them.

 

I wish you could see
the Earth as I do.

 

When you really see it,
it's just one world.

 

Think he'll find us?

 

Never. We'll lay low
for a while,

 

couple of years.

 

I'll come up with a new plan.

 

Whoa. Good thing
I brought my drums.

 

Oh, no!

 

Uncle Lex,
you won't believe this,

 

but it's...

 

Superman.
Superman.

 

Oh, wow!

 

Hey, this rocks! Hey!

 

Morning, father.

 

Lenny's been under
a bad influence.

 

Think you can help him?

 

Every boy can be helped.

 

I think you're right.
Good luck, son.

 

Come with me, my friend.

 

Do you have a drum set?

 

Hey! Mozart's back!

 

Dwayne, Mozart's back!

 

I see him, Bubba!

 

Shut up!

 

Marshal, take him away.

 

Thank you kindly, Superman.

 

Come on, Luthor.

 

One thing-
how'd you beat him?

 

High school physics.

 

I figured
that if your creature

 

was born from the sun,

 

that was his energy source.

 

Will the world be vaporized?

 

No, Luthor.

 

As always, it's on the brink,

 

With good fighting evil.

 

See you in 20.